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Kids between five and eight years old are becoming quite adept at using tablets and smartphones, a trend further fueled by the introduction of various educational applications in classrooms (Daugherty et al., 2014; David & Weinstein, 2023). This early exposure to and increasing competence with technology may naturally lead to a desire for independent tech use at home.

It's crucial to note that the initial years of elementary school are pivotal for children's development. Hosokawa and Katsura (2018) highlight that this period is critical for developing prosocial skills, essential for their social and emotional well-being. However, excessive technology use during these formative years can impede this development. Research indicates that frequent computer use can lead to social isolation and reduce the time spent on meaningful interactions with family and peers, potentially hampering verbal and language development. Furthermore, Aggeler (2024) points out that children in this age group are in a crucial phase of developing executive functioning skills, vital for regulating emotions and behaviors.

Considering this, parents need to find balance when managing screen time. This balance should respect and foster children’s natural curiosity and motivation for digital exploration while also setting healthy boundaries (Joussemet et al., 2008). This way, children can benefit from the positive aspects of technology without hindering their overall development.

This stage of development is characterized by significant physical changes and the onset of puberty (though for many, this can start as early as nine years old), making pre-teens particularly vulnerable to the impact of screen media. As thinking skills advance, there's a notable discrepancy between their cognitive abilities and their experience and judgment, leading to an increased risk of engaging in risky behaviors. Furthermore, this period marks a strong drive toward independence from parents, with pre-teens beginning to challenge, ignore, criticize, or reject parental rules.

According to Kawas et al. (2021), pre-teens’ engagement with technology is seen as a symbolic gesture of acquiring a sense of self and exploring their identity online. However, pre-teens are particularly vulnerable to images in the media, marketing strategies, and exposure to inappropriate content, including pornographic material. These influences can contribute to their plummeting self-esteem and a heightened vulnerability to peer pressure, making it crucial for parents to monitor their child's online activity closely without stifling their growing need for autonomy.

The average daily media use for tweens (excluding time spent using media for school-related work) increased from 4:44 hours in 2019 to 5:33 hours in 2021, reporting a 17% increase post-pandemic, according to a national survey published by Common Sense Media (2021). This increase highlights the importance of establishing clear expectations and guidelines for technology use, emphasizing the need for cooperation and compromise between parents and their pre-teens.

To help your kids find balance, parents should use autonomy-oriented techniques (e.g., reasoning rather than using rewards and punishments) to arrive at mutually agreed-upon restrictions. Cultivating a sense of self-determination in pre-teens is key to helping them manage their screen time with increasing independence, guiding them to internalize the values, behaviors, and attitudes necessary for maintaining a healthy technology balance.

Despite the challenges, technology use isn't without its benefits. Beyond keeping in touch with friends and family, technology serves as a conduit for creativity and learning, offering a platform for children to explore and share their interests, particularly in creative content. When pre-teens are actively involved in setting guidelines and expectations regarding their device usage, they're more likely to take responsibility and be accountable for their actions, leading to a more balanced and autonomous approach to managing recreational technology time.

As pre-teens navigate the complexities of their developmental stage, parents must welcome their separation with understanding and encouragement toward good decision-making, knowing that sometimes mistakes will be made. Being open and available for your pre-teen to come to you when they need guidance is crucial. It's a mistake to back off entirely at this age; kids still need supervision and guidance as they develop the skills necessary to navigate the digital world responsibly. Persistently and consistently talking to your teen about technology and their life online will support them in this critical period of growth and discovery.